That being said, I am amazed at how others view relationships and the need for having one in life. Sure, being alone in the world isn't easy. But being with someone because being alone isn't tolerable isn't about relationship with another -- I see it as a problem with being with one's self.
For the past few years I've been spending holidays with "family." Thanksgiving this year was in a beautiful place -- the beach home of my dearest friends K&E. This is a special location and I can't wait to go back. It was a special week of laughter and love. They have 2 of the most amazing girls -- O & C (11 & 7 years of age) and "Mom" was there too. We shopped, spent time in the glorious sun on the beach and drank great cocktails and wine. We spent time with beach friends who also have homes there and we cooked up a storm. Making T-day dinner is a joy and we have such fun. Our new tradition is to prepare everything thursday morning and by 11 am, the bird is in the oven and we're at the beach enjoying a terrific Bloody Mary to get the day started.
We spent the week together and then I spent 3 days alone in the house. This is a big house and many would say "why would you want to be there ALONE?" It isn't that I want to be alone. But I like myself enough and relish in the quiet time. I read and relaxed. I walked on the beach, watched good movies and went for an amazing 2 hour massage. I cooked (something I love to do) and celebrated who I am.
All the while I had a lingering pain in my heart for another member of my family who can't ever be alone. Anyone who meets her would think -- WOW! This is a woman who has accomplished a great deal. She been blessed with great success and lives a blessed life. But I know this woman better than anyone and while the image presents one thing, the reality is entirely something else.
With one 22 year marriage that produced 2 children but wasn't a joyful one and a 2nd marriage that lasted even longer than the first was full of love and laughter -- it was a special love with so many blessings.
And so now this woman is engaged again. And the last husband died tragically less than a year ago. This man is someone I've never met. He is 9 years younger than she and has 6 children. I've been told the younger 2 are very young (maybe 9 and 13) and the older 4 don't speak with their father. I don't have any details.
But this woman, who so clearly isn't capable of being alone, is planning now to marry this man she's known for only a few months -- who by her own telling is unemployed, has no prospects and no money of his own. Just looking at this scenario is frightening and where is the logic in all of this? What makes this man desirable? What make this story anything but suspicious?
So now I have a choice to make. I need to know how to deal with all of this and I am so thankful for all the support and love I'm receiving. Thank you dear friends for making a family for me.
I know being alone isn't an ideal. We all want someone to share life's highs and lows. And I know I'll always be blessed with wonderful people in my life. And I know there is a special man out there. So I will continue to work on myself to be the best possible woman I can be and ready for him when he arrives. I know that I need to have my complete self to offer in a relationship to make it something special. As I want to find that man who also has his complete self to offer.
And until that day comes, I will be okay being alone -- because it never has to mean I'm lonely but it means I am strong enough and secure enough to enjoy my own company.
With one 22 year marriage that produced 2 children but wasn't a joyful one and a 2nd marriage that lasted even longer than the first was full of love and laughter -- it was a special love with so many blessings.
And so now this woman is engaged again. And the last husband died tragically less than a year ago. This man is someone I've never met. He is 9 years younger than she and has 6 children. I've been told the younger 2 are very young (maybe 9 and 13) and the older 4 don't speak with their father. I don't have any details.
But this woman, who so clearly isn't capable of being alone, is planning now to marry this man she's known for only a few months -- who by her own telling is unemployed, has no prospects and no money of his own. Just looking at this scenario is frightening and where is the logic in all of this? What makes this man desirable? What make this story anything but suspicious?
So now I have a choice to make. I need to know how to deal with all of this and I am so thankful for all the support and love I'm receiving. Thank you dear friends for making a family for me.
I know being alone isn't an ideal. We all want someone to share life's highs and lows. And I know I'll always be blessed with wonderful people in my life. And I know there is a special man out there. So I will continue to work on myself to be the best possible woman I can be and ready for him when he arrives. I know that I need to have my complete self to offer in a relationship to make it something special. As I want to find that man who also has his complete self to offer.
And until that day comes, I will be okay being alone -- because it never has to mean I'm lonely but it means I am strong enough and secure enough to enjoy my own company.
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